Reentry

So, you’ve probably noticed that I quit blogging a while back. I imagine most (including myself) wondered if I’d ever come back to post again. I’d love to say that it was because I didn’t have a single minute of “free” time. I’d like the excuse that we have done absolutely nothing for the past 9 months. Perhaps a broken arm and inability to use a keyboard would work {not true, in case you were worried which, I’m sure, you were}. But it really wasn’t for any of those reasons ... it wasn’t even because I was just too lazy to do it. I made a conscious decision to quit for a while - not just posting but reading other blogs, too. Perhaps it was drastic but it’s been a good thing for me and something that was needed.

It came about for two reasons ... not that I owe an explanation ... that I want to write down for my own remembrance. Some may think that I'm a bit cuckoo {which we all know is true} so I apologize up front for my possibly irrational thinking ;)

First, as I started looking back over my incredibly irregular blog posts I started to notice a pattern ... they were becoming less about me and my family and more about my crafting/creative team work/design work. The sad reality is that this was becoming a more accurate reflection of my life and it was staring me in the face. Don't get me wrong - I love to create and I LOVED all of the work I was doing in terms of creative team assignments and designing. The problem came when I started letting the super late nights creep in {on a very regular basis} and the computer time take over more than it should. When the "balance" is off it affects everyone and it was definitely affecting our entire household. That needed to change.

Second, there's something you should know about me ... I'm insecure. Don't pretend like you're surprised by that - I know we all have our insecurities (or at least I like to believe others struggle with them, too, so play along). What I began to notice was that the more I read other blogs, the worse I started to feel about myself. I realize that blogging gives us a place to be "our best self" and that most people don't blog about the {not-so-glamorous} parts of life. The trouble came for me when I felt like my life was nowhere near as exciting, my craft projects were not as creative, my photos were not as fantastic, my exercise plan wasn't as extreme, my home was not as well decorated, my children were not well enough behaved or dressed ... you get the picture, right? Yes, I was comparing my worst to everyone's best - never a good thing.

What really hit me was when I would read comments on my blog like "I don't know how you do all that you do," or "I get tired just reading about your life," or things like that. Now, if you ever left one of those comments I DO NOT want you to feel bad about it ... you did NOT cause me to stop blogging ;) It made me think to myself "what if reading MY blog makes someone have the same bad feelings about themselves that I do when I read other blogs?" Not that it ever should because, remember, my life was {in my mind} no where near as great an anyone else's life.

And so came the blogging hiatus. I needed it for my own psyche. My family needed it so we could refocus on things as they SHOULD be. I used the time away to remember that I have a pretty darn good life. My house is still not immaculately decorated, I still run on my treadmill on a less-than-regular basis, my photos are still snapshots rather than portraits, I still eat too much candy, and I still glean lots of creative inspiration from others rather than inventing something new, but it's my life ... plain and boring as it may be to others {or myself at times} ... and I'm blessed immensely.

So what made me decide to start posting again? I missed it. I missed the "connections" that blogging provides. I'm sad that I missed out on sharing so many stories from the past 9 months - it's been a wild ride around here with lots of changes! I'm sure I'll post about some of our past happenings in the mix of the new. I won't make any promises on how often I'll write or that it will be all "sunshine and roses" when I do ... that wouldn't be reality, right? What I am going to do is "get over" my insecurities and focus on the things that are truly important to me - imperfections and all :D And what about my crafting/designing? It still keeps me busy ... and I love it ;) I did what I SWORE I would never do and started another blog just for my business! I'm not great at keeping that one up, either, but if you're ever interested in that part of my everyday life you can check it out at ikaridesigns.blogspot.com (or click on my button in the sidebar).

Next post will be more entertaining ... promise. I even have pictures to share ;)